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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?